they say the first time is rough.

this is my second attempt to start blogging. I guess I have been really influenced by some other bloggers out there and namely the idea of just getting my thoughts out there. Whether anybody reads them is neither here nor there. But is seems like if I just type...maybe it will help.

Lately in my life things have been rough and I have found myself really striving for a way to stay positive.

I am a christian. I believe that God has a plan for us and He never gives us more than we can handle...but lately I have been struggling. I guess what I am trying to say is that I need something more.

I have been living. I guess the next part is to learn from what I have here in this life. God has a plan.

They say the first time is rough. The first time I admitted that I didn't have control over my life it was tough. I can't do anything about what is going to happen. God has it all figured out, so I just literally need to let Him take control.

And yet, even knowing that He has it all together, isn't enough for me sometimes. It's tough when you have a house you just bought and in order to keep the house, you have to keep the job that you hate. And I mean HATE (notice all caps). It's tough when you have three pets who all depend on you to stay positive at home and expect you to give them attention. It's tough when your husband loves his job but the job keeps him so busy that you rarely have a moment together. And you want to keep your husband happy, but his job is the reason you ended up in this hateful place, with the hateful job.

And just when I get going...I remember I really don't have it that bad. And that's when I remember that He has it all in control.

The first time you relinquish control is rough...and the next is too...and the next...and the next.